Friday, August 20, 2010

Tom Hanks

Today is the day before showtime. We had an awesome and rather productive rehearsal in east Jesus nowhere last night. There really is a lot a talented people I have the opportunity to work with. I had to GPS the location of the musical director's house and it solidified my amazement with the iPhone. What a phone. I could stalk people with it. Not that I am going to, it is just nice to have the option.

Do you ever just sit around in your underwear for a large amount of the day? These are the times that I love. I think if more people had the luxury that is "underwear sitting" the world would be a better place.

I have just discovered the answer to world peace. Underwear. Obama get on that.

I went over to my new apartment yesterday, what a bunch of people. You know how in the movies people are made to seem extremely sketchy and rude, well this is true for real life as well. I felt that I should be a good tenant and meet my fellow apartment residents. It turns out this was a rather stupid idea. I knocked on the door of the person that lives next to me and he opened the door just a crack and I could see he was rather hairy and not wearing clothes ( I assumed I was interrupting his underwear day). He just grunted like a boar and asked me what I was selling. I assured him that I was just the new resident of Apartment 7. He looked at me like I had four heads, I then awkwardly asked him who I was supposed to talk to if I had problems with anything. He cut me off by saying that the superintendent lived in Apartment 1 and closed the door in my face. Pleasant man really, no wonder he is single.

I went up the stairs and found Apartment 1 and knocked on the door and stood back so as to not frighten the person as they came out. I waited, but there was no response. I completed the same routine and still the door did not open. This continued for about 15 minutes. Now, I know what you are thinking "Wayne. Obviously they were not home." This seemed the likely situation, but I could hear them all chatting inside the apartment. So I kicked the door, which finally caught their attention. They swung the door open and the woman looked like one of those things out of The Lord Of The Rings, she had squint-y eyes and a large body, she snarled and drooled a little. I desperately wanted her to have a club to complete her already attractive image. Here is an example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H_QxlOeHPk&feature=related

"What?"she barked. I told her that I was the new tenant downstairs and that I still hadn't signed any official documents and there was some open power sources that my family had taken the liberty to hide temporarily. She just said she would take care of it at some point and a repeat session happened with the door.

So to clarify, I am squatting in an apartment that I technically don't have to pay rent for. And everyone is  as scattered as a plot. I want to put one of those tacky "Home Sweet Home" signs above the door just for gigs. I am also contemplating buying a really heavy duty padlock for my door.

Audition update: 1 week and no auditions or callbacks.

Lets do this again tomorrow Abyss.

3 comments:

Chris said...

Wayne, I love how you are able to reconcile "I felt that I should be a good tenant and meet my fellow apartment residents" and "So I kicked the door".

Emily said...

hahahahahhahaa
hahahah I am slightly delirious but I actually laughed out loud to the video you linked.
CONGRATS ON THE SCHOLLY
Missing you. I saw a pig in a field today and thought of you...
That was a lie. But I wish it had happened.
Ciao.

Emily said...

hahahahahhahaa
hahahah I am slightly delirious but I actually laughed out loud to the video you linked.
CONGRATS ON THE SCHOLLY
Missing you. I saw a pig in a field today and thought of you...
That was a lie. But I wish it had happened.
Ciao.