Tuesday, August 31, 2010


I have had an ear infection for about two weeks now.

This does not make things easier for oneself. You would think that having one ear completely blocked would help in avoiding conversations or watching people without actually hearing what they are saying and then laughing at their facial expressions. It has helped in those instances but unfortunately, Abyss, these last two weeks have been no fun.

As we are all aware I have been working on a show for the last week and it is very hard to learn about 8 songs (full of harmonies!) and sound decent with one ear completely out of commission.  It is hard to explain my frustration but I don't really feel I need to explain it, it is a problem that people face. The part that bothers me about it, other than the length that this infection has been going on, is the fact that I consider myself an alright singer. So, here I am not doing my best in rehearsal because I can't hear. Now, I am not trying to make excuses, but I have dignity and I want to put on a great show. So I am trying, because a pro doesn't let an ear infection stop them from doing their best!

So I am gonna keep trying to swim to the top of this ocean. It is just hard to know where I am under the water.

Any suggestions that may help heal my ear before friday?

Other than the show and work I am not doing a whole lot.

I am sending in my information to the audition that I talked about last time. Regardless of the situation. This advice was given to me from some of my friends and I agree with them in their insight. So here is hoping.

School starts in less than a month and I am stoked for routine to pick up.

I am sitting here writing this in my underwear because it is so freaking hot and I have no air conditioning. So I am a barrel of laughs right now with my clogged head and sweating body.

Sexy to say the least.

I always try to keep my dignity intact.

Sorry that I have taken so long to repost. A lot has happened, mainly just travel, in the last couple days. I shall make a point to post more.

Goodnight Abyss.

Friday, August 27, 2010

The Average Life of a Wouldbe Actor: One Night In New York City

The Average Life of a Wouldbe Actor: One Night In New York City

One Night In New York City


Let me tell you, last night was a event.

My friend was turning 19 at midnight so my buddies and I thought it would be best to go out at this time. Seems innocent enough a few guys going out for drinks. Little did we know that this evening would turn into an escapade that we would soon not forget. I got out of rehearsal around 1030 and came back to my apartment to check on the cats and make sure they had what they needed for the night. They did. So I changed and left to head over to my old apartment where my roommate and our friends were hanging out waiting till 12 when we could head downtown. We were all pre-drinking and having a good time; singing happy birthday songs composed by the guitar player of the group. Then my roommate brings out his laptop insisting that he has a song for us to listen to.

He sits down on the couch, and we are all expecting to hear something upbeat and popish.

Not the case at all.

He turns on a song called "One Night In New York City" by the Horrorist. It is a messed up song. And unfortunately I cannot post the link due to some language content. But Youtube it.

So beginning our outing with this song in our minds was a little weird but we continued downtown. Our first stop was a favourite of ours. We started drinking and playing sociables at the table. Our waitress was a babe and she was just a really cool person. She joked about all the chicken wings she had served that night and laughed about how messy she was. I liked her.

While we continued to play we purchased another pitcher. A few minutes went by and (we had already paid for our drinks because we knew that they were closing soon) the manager came over to our table and said that we need to seriously leave. We all looked at him apologetically thinking that we had been to loud or something of that rambunctious nature. He then says, " Guys, you seriously need to get out, there is a fire!"

Thats right abyss, a fire was happening around us.

So we had to flee the scene minus the 3 quarter full pitcher. As we exited the building smoke was billowing out of the doors and windows. There were cops and all the other necessary officials there to over see the situation. We decided to head to another place.

We got to another place and there was an ambulance parked outside and everyone was leaving. It turned out some girl was being rushed to the hospital due to alcohol poisoning. So once again we peaced.

The next bar we went to we had to pay cover and then once we got in the bar was going through a flood. Yes, it seems someone left the bathroom sink on and it was flooding the bathrooms.

So, needless to say we were able to drink somewhat but it seems that the world was against us for that night. We started to head home and partook in the regular ritual of stopping for McDonald's on the way home. I always feel bad for going to 24 hr MacDonalds' because the people who work the shifts that late always seem to hate their lives. So I always watch them make my food so I know they aren't spitting in it. Because you know that they would take out their 4am vengeance on my burger if I wasn't watching them like a hawk.

We left with our bellies full and wallets empty. The end of a really fun night.

So, that was super long. I am gonna be short now I promise.

Audition Update: Got word about a commercial that I would be perfect for, the only exception is is that I work for the opposing company that the commercial is for. Thus its recommended that I don't audition.  I am conflicted though because I want to get some work, but I cant tell them I work for the enemy. What is your suggestion?

Talk soon.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Dont Cook Sausages in a Frying Pan.

Well Abyss,

Sorry about the delay of posts. I have offish moved into my new apartment with my two cats and a plethora of appliances. My mom is a great woman but she has laden me with all of her appliances that she has no use for anymore. So I have basically no cupboard space for dishes and such thanks to the giant blender taking up half the space alone.

This will be my third night in the new apartment and I have nothing for entertainment but books, movies and kittens. So I am pretty set. I felt the need to get internet because of this little thing that you are reading, so I was debating getting it from my work (telecommunications) but then I found out that I can save money by using my iPhone. Pretty nifty. I am stoked about that and am able to write again!

To recap the last few eventful days: The show went wonderful, the local news stations came and filmed us which was wicked. Everyone did really well and we had a great turn out for audience. I think everyone was thoroughly impressed with themselves, and as they should be. Congrats everyone. I am attaching a few links at the bottom.

Presently I have another show lined up, which I had rehearsal for tonight, hence the late write. This show is happening on September 4 so only a few short days to get it together. But I like when things get down to business and we can be happy with a product. Something funny though; Sunday night I received an email from a local collective group saying that they were interested in me for a role that they were performing on Thursday. I said yes and asked for the script, I mean I am gonna take work where I can and no matter how short notice. They sent me the script and asked for it to be memorized by Wednesday. Mind you this is the shortest amount of time I have ever been asked to memorize something, but again I was up to the challenge. I printed off the script and started memorizing feverishly.

Now, the good thing was that the script was fairly conversation-like so I could easily improv lines if need be.

The weird part of this is that these people asked me to do the role by recommendation of one of my friends. I am assuming that they thought I was around the same age as my friend; about 30. I assume this because the script was rather adult. I mean that in a sexual way.

There was no doubt in my mind that I would not have done it. I haven't worked in a bit, well two days, and was again up for the challenge. I thought it would push myself. The issue was that I knew that once i showed up to rehearse they would realize how young I am and decline me the role. So I memorized the lines (actually) and tried to make myself seem older. The next night I received another email saying that the whole thing is being canceled due to one of the people involved got a movie gig. So my attempts at making myself seem sexy and older were then deflated like a popped balloon.

Audition update: I got word that they are holding auditions for The Fantastiks, so I may be trying out for that. Other than that; ziltch.

But I am not at a total loss because I still have the show I am working on now, which will be great when we have it all together. I am excited for people to see it. I am working with the same group of people as the previous performance which ensures it will be great.

By the way, I learned not to cook sausage in a frying pan this evening. Especially when you have an actual grill provided by your mother. Lets just say the fire alarm went off multiple times. Oh and to clarify how uninterested my fellow apartment dwellers are, no one even came when my fire alarm went of 5 times. So glad the people around me give a damn.

Thats all for tonight abyss.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Steeped in Stench Like a Teabag in Water

If that simile wasn't attractive enough for you, I also haven't showered today.

I found out the value of a new contact case. I always forget how long I have my current contact case. The maximum period of time that one should be reusing the case is three months. I am assuming that I have been using mine well beyond that time. So I was sleeping at my friends place last night on a whim and so i went and bought some new solution and with came a BONUS contact case. My eyes feel amazing today :)

Today is showtime. I am feeling alright and have confidence that it will be a good show. I am, more or less, hoping that there will be a larger crowd tonight than expected. I was disappointed last night because I was expecting the local news to show up. They didn't, so no real press coverage for us actors.

Oh, and I have recently become the owner of two kittens. I am picking them up on Sunday.

Audition update: Nothing for a week and a day. Now is about the time something will come about.

Again, Ellen Page if you are reading this please try to make it to the show tonight. It starts at 8pm.

My friend texted me the yesterday morning to inform me that she had a dream about me. The dream was her watching the Scatman video, but I was the Scatman. Which makes sense because now I am the CATman.

For those of you who do not know what the Scatman is and think it is some killer from a horror film, this should clear your mind of those images: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Geiq0FP13uQ&feature=search

Also I came across this Trailer for a new Natalie Portman movie (Natalie Portman is one of my 3) check it out.


Thats enough for today, wish me luck.

All the best Abyss

Friday, August 20, 2010

Tom Hanks

Today is the day before showtime. We had an awesome and rather productive rehearsal in east Jesus nowhere last night. There really is a lot a talented people I have the opportunity to work with. I had to GPS the location of the musical director's house and it solidified my amazement with the iPhone. What a phone. I could stalk people with it. Not that I am going to, it is just nice to have the option.

Do you ever just sit around in your underwear for a large amount of the day? These are the times that I love. I think if more people had the luxury that is "underwear sitting" the world would be a better place.

I have just discovered the answer to world peace. Underwear. Obama get on that.

I went over to my new apartment yesterday, what a bunch of people. You know how in the movies people are made to seem extremely sketchy and rude, well this is true for real life as well. I felt that I should be a good tenant and meet my fellow apartment residents. It turns out this was a rather stupid idea. I knocked on the door of the person that lives next to me and he opened the door just a crack and I could see he was rather hairy and not wearing clothes ( I assumed I was interrupting his underwear day). He just grunted like a boar and asked me what I was selling. I assured him that I was just the new resident of Apartment 7. He looked at me like I had four heads, I then awkwardly asked him who I was supposed to talk to if I had problems with anything. He cut me off by saying that the superintendent lived in Apartment 1 and closed the door in my face. Pleasant man really, no wonder he is single.

I went up the stairs and found Apartment 1 and knocked on the door and stood back so as to not frighten the person as they came out. I waited, but there was no response. I completed the same routine and still the door did not open. This continued for about 15 minutes. Now, I know what you are thinking "Wayne. Obviously they were not home." This seemed the likely situation, but I could hear them all chatting inside the apartment. So I kicked the door, which finally caught their attention. They swung the door open and the woman looked like one of those things out of The Lord Of The Rings, she had squint-y eyes and a large body, she snarled and drooled a little. I desperately wanted her to have a club to complete her already attractive image. Here is an example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H_QxlOeHPk&feature=related

"What?"she barked. I told her that I was the new tenant downstairs and that I still hadn't signed any official documents and there was some open power sources that my family had taken the liberty to hide temporarily. She just said she would take care of it at some point and a repeat session happened with the door.

So to clarify, I am squatting in an apartment that I technically don't have to pay rent for. And everyone is  as scattered as a plot. I want to put one of those tacky "Home Sweet Home" signs above the door just for gigs. I am also contemplating buying a really heavy duty padlock for my door.

Audition update: 1 week and no auditions or callbacks.

Lets do this again tomorrow Abyss.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Apple Hortens; a 4am Joke provided by Colin.

So Abyss,

I have some good and bad news.

First off, I have recently moved all of my belonging into my new apartment as I am currently still living with my roommate. I am basically sleeping on the floor without any of my things here to just be here when him and my friends are here so I have people to hang out with. I know this sounds pathetic but it is true, and I enjoy my friends so why would I leave them early if I don't have too? This is my thought process anyway.

Audition update: Ziltch for the previous ones. Ehh, on a new one that I applied for last night and have yet to find out if they so desire to see my face.

I encompassed the bad news in those two sentences.

This week is quite intense with rehearsals for my performance on Saturday (which Ellen Page should be coming too) and working and such. Hence the reason why I haven't written in a while.

Good News is that I am officially the recipient of the Scholarship to my theatre program! So that makes two years of post secondary education that I have not had to dig in my own pockets to pay for. Yay for other people's money! So I now have plans for September and am excited to start learning -- Hold up... I never thought those words would be spelled by my fingers... This year has to be a developmental year to help me prepare for the good stuff coming up. I am determined that there is good things coming along my conveyor belt of a life. I am stoked to put the pieces together and make something I can be proud of.

I thoroughly hate transitions. I always want my life to be a Star Trek episode. Not for the geeky reasons but for the transporter. I hate drive/walking between places sometimes. I wish you could just hop into a transporter and arrive. Think of the gas money people would save, more than enough to buy a freaking transporter that's for sure. I'm just thinking of the big picture.

Well I am exhausted, and even though it is 6pm I am going to sleep.

G'night Abyss.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Neil Young had the right idea; Forever Young.

Tonight was just another night of me wanting to be in film. My friends and I went to see Michael Cera in Scott Pilgrim vs The World. It was a great film. I laughed a lot and was just a whole lot of fun. It was quite clever and a multitude of great aspects. And as stated, makes me want to act even more. Every time I go to see a great film I always think about how hard I have to work to get to that point someday. That is my ultimate goal, to get on the big screen and do an effective performance. Obviously a simple request.

Work was normal. I move tomorrow from my temporary place that my roommate and I are squatting in. My parents are coming down to clean my new apartment to the standard that my mother insists needs to be meet. She actually told me that I would get crabs if I was living there without it fully being cleaned. Thats right kids, you can catch crabs from standing on a dirty carpet. I know one would think that the only way you would normally catch them is by rubbing your genitals on the carpet, literally shagging the carpet, but this is false in the eyes of my dear mother who think that STD's jump and eat through your pants.

 Lets hope she isn't right for the sake of my sex life.

Audtion update: Ziltch x2

It may be safe to say I did not get the parts.

I have been made aware of another audition that I will be submitting myself to in hopes of discovery. I just want someone to cut me a break. I need to get that union status. All I can do is keep trying.

Do you ever have those moments where you notice how far technology and medical science has come since the days of outhouses. I have them every so often. Tonight as I was taking out my contacts I was like, "shit, these things are little bits of lenses that help me see! And I put them in my eye and trust that they wont permanently injure me." I mean under normal circumstance you don't just put things in your eyes. I am sure the first person to test contacts was like, "What the eff? Are you joking me, you want me to do what?" It is just so crazy how things keep advancing everyday and they will continue to. My children will live a totally different life than me due to the gadgets and medical advances that are coming down the pipe. It is amazing.

I may have a date soon. Hell Yes.

That's is all for now Abyss, keep in touch.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Day 4: I spent more time on the road than a dead raccoon.

I drove a lot today.

My parents live about an hour and a half outside of the city that I live in. I went home today on my day off. I always enjoy going home and seeing my family because it always feels like I never left. Their lives are constantly going and there is always things to do. I spent most of the day with my younger brother just milling around and talking about things on his mind. I miss him terrible.

I waited patiently all day for my phone to ring in regards to my scholarship for school in September as today was the cut off date for acceptance submission.

Guess what abyss?

No phone call. Thats right, I didn't hear anything today. Even after them telling me yesterday that they would call me the following day for a follow up. And to make matters worse, my roommate reminded that the director of the school is taking a vacation starting tomorrow. So now I am lost because I have no information as to whether I am going to be going to school in September or not. I don't know what is supposed to happen now. Is there still a point to waiting knowing that if they did not make their decision today that there is basically no hope in me going, or do I just continue waiting like a good actor?

I am at a crossroad.
I am blind.
And I have no dog to help me.
In other words; I am headed into the woods.

I have decided to just remain still in hopes that someone will find me and lead me down the right path.

On a more pleasant note; I may have picked up another job today. My roommate is also an actor and he informed me of a job at his work place, which is great and I am totally going to take him up on the offer, for the money and the people. It seemed like a good idea due to the fact that I enjoy both of those things.So I will be starting there quite soon I would hope.

Audition update: zilch.

I have more music to learn for Tuesday because we perform our show on Saturday, so it is going to be an intense week for learning. Oh, and Ellen Page, if you read this please come to my show.

I don't really have anything philosophical to say this evening, so I apologize for not being as entertaining. I have to work early in the morning so I am off to bed.

Goodnight Abyss.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

New England Clam Chower... Is that the red or the white?

Alright Abyss,

Today at work was rather uneventful, just a normal day with normal problems. I suspected my car battery to die but alas I was rewarded with a smooth drive home. I called the scholarship people and I am still in limbo regarding my recipient status. They said they should hopefully know, the operative word being hopefully, by tomorrow.

Knowing myself, I am going to do all of this work for this scholarship and it is going to go to some Joe who didn't do a stinking thing for it. That's always how us average people's lives work out. Regardless, I am still just plain old waiting; like and actor should.

I have rehearsal in an hour and hopefully it will be a good time tonight. We had a run through on Tuesday and it went okay I think. It is always hard to tell with rehearsal how it will fair in the final run.I am having one of those days where I don't want to be seen by the public, this is due to my lack of hair gel and contacts, and I am going to have to make out with two girls tonight. Now under normal circumstance, as a man, this would be perfectly fine, and I am totally game for it. I just feel bad for the girls.

Wayne without contacts or hair gel = picture a shrill scream from an old horror movie.

Again, no word from anything that I auditioned for recently, I guess that is also pending.

So, a pretty basic day. Oh, and I am getting a kitten.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 2: Ass Kicked

My body rejected me this morning.

As per usual.

I had to work at 8am this morning with only 4 hours of sleep, it was brutal. I went to work and actually slept on the floor while doing inventory. I was able to catch up some during this time, thus continuing my shift in overtired mode. This is another complexity I will never fully understand.

At my job we are paid on both commission and an hourly rate. This makes things quite competitive, and as those who know me, I am quite competitive. I am trying to sell as much as I can this month and meet my targets because I have the goal to be top sales in our store month over month. It is silly how menial this is but it is all I have for excitement right now in my life, sans girlfriend and school starting soon. On this topic, I have been accepted into a one year theatre intensive program at the local theatre in the city I am residing. The issue is that I am an average dude, who is trying to become an actor. This translates into . . . I am broke. So to avoid the issue of me trying to scrounge up the money to pay for the program I have applied for the scholarship associated with it. I feel I should be the recipient due to the fact that I put a lot of hard work into gathering the best recommendations for myself and making myself sound poor; I contemplated saying that I was raised by goats (which is not an exaggeration at all). I was accepted into the program in early July and was told that they would be making the decision for the scholarship towards the end of the month because the deposit for holding your place was due August 13, 2010.

I havent heard a 'yes' or 'no' yet.

Check the date.

Yeah I am a little miffed.

I mean the least they could do is tell me that I didn't get it so I could stop stressing, but no, they would rather watch me writhe in question like an ant beneath a sun-glazed magnifying glass. This scholarship is a crucial part to my life come September. I say this because if I don't get it I am just continuing to work full time until I can audition for the bigger schools across Canada for acting. Now, if I do get I am going to be able to train and be more prepared for the schools when audition time comes around. My roommate and I have discussed it to death and him and I both agree that I am going to feel more comfortable with pre-training than none at all and be going in blind. This is coming from the guy who was accepted into the most prestigious theatre school in Canada first time out, so I kind of trust him.

I haven't heard anything back from the commercials that I auditioned for last Friday, and certainly nothing from the audition yesterday. Acting is a waiting game. Perhaps you wouldn't think this, but it is true on so many levels it is strange people don't always think of the two of the simultaneously. I find things to be most effective when I don't dwell on the outcomes, whether they be positive or negative. The good thing right now is that I am preparing for a show next week. I have been working on it for the last four months and we are finally nearing the performance; which is my favorite part. The show is making its world premier in my city and I am the lead. I am excited because it has been so long since I have done a live show and my body needs it like a cocaine addict needs another hit. The adrenaline is was binds me to the stage. That and the reaction from the audience when you fully suspend their disbelief. More on this later...

I finished my work day early because I had come in at the crack of dawn, or at least what seemed like it. And as I finally get into my car to drive home it doesn't start. That right, the battery just didn't pick up. So I walked home in the blazing heat that makes me believe that ice caps are in fact melting. Now here I am, sitting on the couch that my roommate found in the garbage, attempting to find a way to kill fruit flies. Any suggestions?

All the Best Abyss.

Not only am I Average but I am a Noob, and certainly not a Day Owl

When people call themselves "Night Owls" I always get confused. I have personally used the term myself, which always leads to more confusion due to the fact that I don't understand the term to begin with. Because is there anything but "Night Owls"? I have never heard of "Day Owls". Thus I remain confused and still using the term.  Somehow, I don't think I am the first to use a term that one does not understand. Perhaps I could start implementing the term into my daily vocabulary. "Day Owl". I am certainly not one. It is 3am and I have to work in less than 4 hours, yet here I am creating this Blog.

Today was an interesting day; I went to my day job, which is a mobility provider and proceeded to take care of customers in a timely fashion. Timely being an ironic word due to the fact that I was late, which I can assure you never happens; I am always punctual.  Now, I had received a call from my agent previously this week regarding an audition today. So, pitching the idea of me leaving work for an audition seemed like it was going to be a challenge, considering that I was late. My manager and I have only know each other for a small amount of time due to me being a transfer from my home town 4 months ago. To my surprise the challenge was not really a challenge at all (As you will soon find out that I am a person who considers the worst consequences for situations), my manager let me go and I was able to get to my audition with time to spare.  This audition was for a casting agency who I have auditioned for multiple times, they are currently casting a very popular show. And regardless of my consistency I have yet to garner a role in anything. Needless to say I just keep going back.  I guess my best hope is to finally get into the Union so I am more readily available for film and television work, because without this status you are like a 15 year-old looking for a job with no work experience. Basically someone has to take pity on you and give you a job before you can start racking up the experience. This is my goal for the year, someone to take pity on me like a 15 year-old.  To continue to play on the 15 year-old analogy I sometimes feel like a superhero in a sense: By day, I am your friendly neighborhood mobility Sales Consultant. By night, a wouldbe actor just trying to get noticed, whilst trying to maintain a living and pay the rent on time.

Apparently you are just supposed to write on this thing, so here I am just writing to the abyss. Not knowing if anyone anywhere will ever read this. Hopefully I started it off this relationship well. A relationship that will hopefully last much longer than my past romantic ones.

Goodnight Abyss.